Candied, crushed sago't gulaman
Freedom is a concept most nations agree to be a good thing. Bondage and infirmity are big uh-ohs in the whole country-building arenas, so yeah, we tend to avoid those as much as possible. You want to invade our motherland and drain us of our resources? No thanks, friendo!
Of course, it’s not as easy as that. A shameless campaign of whitewashing usually follows the initial showing of interest. Next thing you know, “benevolent assimilation” gets introduced, people get brainwashed and your early rebellion against the takeover becomes blurred and questionable because everyone else doesn’t think it’s such a good idea anymore.
Thankfully, we have none of that in Crawl, Worm, Crawl! Your motivation is clear: you need to escape using only the squiggly, limbless body God or evolution has given you. Assisting you in this quest are controls rivaling QWOP, because who said being a worm was easy. Imagine he is a developing nation, just barely trucking by, content that nobody’s messing with him because life is hard as it is, goddamn.
Prepare to dun goof as you learn the logistics of squirming and attempt to write them into your muscle memory. This is a metaphor for something also!Then there’s the fish who is impossibly fast! This is America, people! Voracious and insatiable, it will never stop in its pursuit. How are you even this fast on the ground, fish? Because of Obama, that’s why.
Press GHFJ to flex and extend! Don’t let the imperialist white meat win! Liberate Crawl, Worm, Crawl! over here. Or click any of the pictures. It’s your God-given right to do so.