Candied, crushed sago't gulaman

I Tues You: Crawl, Worm, Crawl!

ity cwc1

Crawl, Worm, Crawl! by Pol

Freedom is a concept most nations agree to be a good thing. Bondage and infirmity are big uh-ohs in the whole country-building arenas, so yeah, we tend to avoid those as much as possible. You want to invade our motherland and drain us of our resources? No thanks, friendo!

Of course, it’s not as easy as that. A shameless campaign of whitewashing usually follows the initial showing of interest. Next thing you know, “benevolent assimilation” gets introduced, people get brainwashed and your early rebellion against the takeover becomes blurred and questionable because everyone else doesn’t think it’s such a good idea anymore.

ity cwc2

Thankfully, we have none of that in Crawl, Worm, Crawl! Your motivation is clear: you need to escape using only the squiggly, limbless body God or evolution has given you. Assisting you in this quest are controls rivaling QWOP, because who said being a worm was easy. Imagine he is a developing nation, just barely trucking by, content that nobody’s messing with him because life is hard as it is, goddamn.

Prepare to dun goof as you learn the logistics of squirming and attempt to write them into your muscle memory. This is a metaphor for something also!Then there’s the fish who is impossibly fast! This is America, people! Voracious and insatiable, it will never stop in its pursuit. How are you even this fast on the ground, fish? Because of Obama, that’s why.

Press GHFJ to flex and extend! Don’t let the imperialist white meat win! Liberate Crawl, Worm, Crawl! over here. Or click any of the pictures. It’s your God-given right to do so.

ity cwc3


About Job Duanan

Job believes that pixels are building blocks of love and understanding.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on 2 July 2013 by in Highlights and tagged , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: